Perhaps it’d help if babies were born with a parental warning tag.  Beware-living with teenagers may become hazardous to mental health!’

I know —I lived with three full grown, experienced teenagers.

However, they do make life most interesting.

I sense teenagers are prone to hearing problems. They say they didn’t hear you ask them a question. Meanwhile they were looking you right in the face and nodding their head. They especially say they never heard when you tell them what time to be back from the mall. But—they hear a vibrating phone from two rooms away; and a silent text message from the basement.

It’s called selective hearing- and we are on permanent mute.

However, all is not lost. We can really learn somethings from them. One day, after looking at my son’s wall-to-wall clothes (on the floor, that is). I asked , “How can you tell the dirty clothes from the clean?”

You’ll never believe his profound answer. (I just knew his education would pay off some day.)

“Why, Mom, it’s so simple—I just smell them!”

I think I should donate his nose to the Launders of America.

They do have a most unique way of communicating. Nonetheless, after years of trial and error (mostly error.) I have learned some of their jargon.

“Everybody is doing it ,” the accurate translation—there’s a remote chance some kid’s parents are perhaps willing to consider the possibility of thinking about it sometime.

“Absolutely everyone has one. If I don’t get one, I’ll simply die!” Interpretation—all the kids are telling their parents the same story. Meanwhile, no one has seen this phantom kid who supposedly has one.

Talk about the communication gap—teenage boys invented it! The basics of their vocabulary are: yes, no, and uh-huh. Their longest tries are saved for when they want something.  I’m hungry!  I need to borrow some moolah! Can I use the car?

Asking them anything other than what’s the time, is considered an invasion of their privacy.

They declare to us they like to be left alone, they need their privacy, Yet they are never alone! Since they hit puberty, everything is en masse. Either they are on their cell phone, Facebooking, Instagraming, texting, Twiittering each other.  Meanwhile they are sitting in the same room.

And– they don’t come in any other mode than hungry.

One time, and one time only, I actually heard my son say he was full. I watched in awe as he got up from the table. But, upon standing he said, false alarm, sat down and continued inhaling his food.

In fact, his only concern about going to college was—would there be enough food?

Nevertheless, I sense there’s hope—I think I am not alone. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read: “Isanity is hereditary—you catch it from your teenagers!”